Church reluctantly

Today was one of those days when I woke up with the strength and desire to go to church. I love these better days. Even though I was reading an interesting book, as soon as the clock struck nine, I was on my way to the bathroom to get ready for church. I did it with no thought at all, like it is something I love and don’t need to be coerced into.

I decided to make good use of the day. I’ve been puzzled this last week about my moods. Did I dread going to church because of something there, or was it just another manifestation of my current illness?

I’m pretty sure it’s the latter now. Even though today was a good day, I could see the telltale signs. Little things irritated me and some were things I don’t even hate; the amount of repetition in the songs, the fact we were having an unfamiliar guest preacher today, and pretty much everything my pastor said.

I love my pastor’s history lessons, usually, and he hasn’t changed. I have. I’m a tough critic so it’s hard to find a theologically sound church. Mine is one of the best I’ve seen and I’m going to take advantage of it. I’ll drag myself to church if that’s what it takes. It wouldn’t be the first time.

God’s kindness to us is immeasurable. He gives us gifts so good we don’t know how to accept them. 🙂


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I’m Tracy

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